Dining with Fortune
by BookishTea
Summary: "The master convinces Orpheus to ask Rusty out on a date." From the carcass of VB Kink Meme.


_The Master_ , an omniscient being unlike any other. Across the vast expansion of his dominion followers flocked, a plethora of thinkers from a variety of worlds that craved one joint thing. Infinite knowledge over the arcane arts. But as time has moved on, few have earned his trust as much as Doctor Bryon Orpheus. After devoting the entirety of his life to his master's wishes, Orpheus achieved the status of being his most favoured student. With this privilege, he found himself able to seek an audience virtually anytime, a fact he took very seriously.

Which is why he currently stood within Necropolis, plumes of thick fog swirling around his feet as he elegantly bowed.

"Master I've arrived."

"I can see that Orpheus" came the familiar sneer from his teacher. Lifting his head, Orpheus blinked at the sight of a large white rabbit reclining on the throne before him. Dressed in swaths of heavy red fabric, the Master's painted face frowned, left ear twitching, " _What?_ "

Orpheus quickly straightened himself, "I didn't mean to insult you Master, I was merely shocked at your appearance. You usually don't take the form of Chinese deities, much less Tu'er Ye."

"Don't be such a know-it-all Orpheus, there's several forms I take when you're not around. Who's to say rabbit gods aren't one of them?"

"Of course, please accept my deepest apologies…" he mumbled, leaning his torso forward.

"Oh for…" Sighing loudly, the Master pinched his cute little button nose with an equally adorable paw. "Will you just quit with the bowing for one second? All your ass kissing is really getting on my nerves."

"I wasn't-"

It was rather hard to be intimidating with a cotton ball for a tail, but somehow the Master managed it. "What do you _want_ Orpheus?"

There was a second of silence, during the time in which Orpheus promptly closed his mouth before saying what had been troubling him.

"Mr. Venture."

"Ah Thaddeus S., blood descendant of Colonel Lloyd Venture. Or as he's better known as, the loser that orders you around like a bitch."

"Mr. Venture is my landlord and dear friend, he doesn't 'order me around'."

"Right, and I'm not omniscient." Rolling his large eyes, he took a lengthy sip from the cocktail that blinked into existence in his right paw. Savouring the accents of bourbon, crisp citrus, ginger, and of course carrot, he softly sighed as he swirled the beverage around with a crazy straw.

"Anyway," Orpheus continued with a frown, trying his hardest to ignore that the straw was in the shape of two intertwined Mars symbols; both arrows pointing in opposite directions. "I'm in need of your advice, I can't seem to bridge the gap in our friendship. While I remain resolute in everything mystical, Mr. Venture is a devote follower of science. It's maddening, there always seems to be conflict between us!"

"Well what do you want from me, Orpheus? Do you want me to tell you to suck him off?" His apprentice glared "...I'm pretty such you already got that covered…" he mumbled off to the side.

"Master"

"Ugh fine! I swear, there's nothing but nagging with you... Orpheus… to grasp what you seek, you must pray upon the altar of Edesia and Bibesia. Only then will you share peace you so desperately crave."

"Edesia and Bibesia…?"

"That's what I just said. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment." With a flick of his paw, a gust of wind blew towards his apprentice in a powerful wave. The air was chilled with the sharp scent of mint, enough that it caused Orpheus' eyes to unwillingly screw shut. He raised his arms, failing to shield his face from the icy bite.

He was startled to find the sensation had suddenly disappeared; he opened his eyes. Still watering, he found himself weakly blinking within a familiar room. His library. Usually he was standing within his daughter's bedroom after his audience; confused, he anxiously looked around for any subtle or drastic changes. You could never tell what lengths his master would go to on a whim.

What was he missing? It was here, that much was clear. Getting a whiff of a faint fragrance, he traced it to a bookshelf in the corner of the room, a section dedicated to ancient myths. His slender fingers brushing against the spines of the leather-bound tomes, fingering them thoughtfully until his eyes landed on a book nestled on one of the top shelves, one he'd never seen before. Noticing his stare, it dutifully slipped out of its position and drifted down to his nervous hands. To describe its beauty was near impossible, that it was the pale colour of early winter mornings and bottled regrets. While the texture was a mix of sleek marble and the feathery touch of tall grass on a hot summertime day.

Squinting, he translated the text's title with a dry mouth, "Essence of the soul."

Orpheus inhaled deeply, letting the refreshing perfume that wafted from the tome clear his mind. At the sound of its name, the book bared itself, glad to share its wisdom as it landed on a bookmarked page.

"Ah, Edesia and Bibesia… The Roman goddesses of food and drink." Realization struck Orpheus "It's so simple now" He let the book fly from his hand and settle itself back into its rightful place. Elated at this discovery, he was surrounded in an aura of swirling lights. Holding on to the image in his head, he let it guide him as he disappeared in half the span of a heartbeat.

* * *

Rusty was bent over a counter in his lab, thick gloved hands trying not to shake as he delicately poured a bright indigo liquid into a metallic mixture. He held onto his breath, sweat collecting on his brow as he carefully counted every drop going into the slender test tube. One wrong move, no matter how tiny, and this whole compound was going to be a massive crater. Okay, maybe not the whole compound, but he sure as hell wasn't going to survive.

Rusty might not be living like his obnoxious thief of a little brother, but that didn't mean he wanted to die - thank you very much.

"Mr Venture!"

"Jesus C-" He jolted, beaker slipping from his hand. Thunder hammering his ears, he clumsily caught it at the last second. All the oxygen in his lungs escaped in a massive sigh of relief. Thank God...

 **Rusty 1 Death 0**

He however, wasn't going to be thanking his tenant anytime soon. Wordlessly he set the beaker gently onto the counter before he spun around in his chair, grinding his teeth.

The sheer amount of animosity directed at Orpheus shocked him, to the point where he inadvertently took a step back. He had already planned what he wanted to say, but after witnessing that hateful glare words left him.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I…" Orpheus cleared his throat "I didn't mean to disturb you, Mr. Venture, but I have a proposition."

"I don't care if you have Daryl Hannah in the hallway, I want you out of my lab. _Now_."

"Mr. Venture, please, I've come to bond with you!"

"...What are you talking about?...Are you..." Horror overcame anger, "...Are you coming onto me?!"

Orpheus frowned as he crossed the distance between them, "No! I merely wish to have the chance for our friendship to grow!" He sheepishly coughed into his sleeve, "Over a meal at Tre Sorelle, I have reservations…"

"I knew it!" The chair clattered to the floor as Rusty suddenly stood up, "You're a homosexual! I knew I shouldn't have leased that part of the compound out. It'd only invite weirdos to come over and try to seduce me!"

"Seduce you?! I beg your pardon… I wanted no such thing!"

"Don't try to act all innocent, Orpheus" Rusty testily jabbed at the other man's chest, "I could tell from the moment we met that you had the hots for me - and all of those side glances, I'm just a tempting trophy for you, aren't I?"

Orpheus grabbed a hold of the hand poking him, letting it fall with a stoic expression. " _Right_ , and that moment at the motel was clearly a heterosexual experience. You don't have to say anything else, I've lost my appetite..."

With a sweep of his robes, Orpheus stalked out of the room, letting the steel doors slam behind him.

Alone in a large and abruptly dead silent lab, Rusty stared after the necromancer. It was another moment until he wandered back to his chair, picking it off of the floor, and sitting down on it with a sigh. In a bizarre turn of events, he couldn't help but feel lonely as he stared at his science experiment. Orpheus' words ringing in his ears, Rusty cradled his head between his hands. Like all of the other times in his life, he was alone with nothing but his regret. He's such a fucking idiot...


End file.
